so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
