I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
