Moan for me like Helen Keller
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
