So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
