What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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