yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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