you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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