Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
