I just made out with a guy for $7.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize