We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize