either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
