Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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