I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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