Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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