So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
