you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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