he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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