He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
