bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
it's like iHOP with fire
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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