I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
