please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
