yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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