My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
