I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize