You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
