i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
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