so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
third nipple confirmed
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
