So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
