Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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