You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
