YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
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