Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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