You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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