I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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