I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
