She announced her abortion via fbk
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
