see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
