Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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