I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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