I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i need an iv and a liver transplant
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
