Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You've changed since you got that strap on
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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