This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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