Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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