There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It's rum buckets o'clock
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
