so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
