Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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