Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
