She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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