dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
