I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
