I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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