allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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