like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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