just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
God, I missed his penis.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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