Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
