Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
