3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
