Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize